I recently went to the State Championships for debate. I neither did as well as I had hoped, nor as well as my record this year had predicted. Oh well - I won't even care about it in a zillion years.
I did, however, discover something I have titled,
"The Hotel Trifecta of Comfort."
1. Long, hot shower (and freedom from water-bill-guilt)
2. Exhaustive (albeit muffled) weeping
3. Vigorous masturbation
I informed a friend at the tournament, who dropped out a round later. He told me that my advice was invaluable--
"Gordon, that hotel trifecta thing really did the trick! Well, the trifecta minus the shower. And minus the masturbation. I really just had a small, damp cry. But it felt good."
I gotta copyright that shit.
In a foreign city? Feeling down? Trifectize© yourself.
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