The Odyssey, Frat Edition

As I prepare to go back to school, I've been spending a series of late nights trying to finish my AP Lit summer homework. I remember sitting down with The Odyssey last night and getting a lot of work done, and I remember stumbling to bed at 4:30 a.m., but when I woke up this morning, I was utterly surprised to find that I had written a 27-page document of quotes and analysis. As I read this document, I was even more surprised to discover that the further I read (and the later at night I wrote), the angrier my analysis became.

Here are a some samples of the progression:

"Odysseus to Seareach when Seareach says the reason he’s not competing is probably because he sucks at everything."

"Odysseus is fighting, tricking, running, swimming, lying, flattering, and fucking his way back home. In fact, if we don’t count his ten-year stint in Ilion, Odysseus’s penis is without a doubt the most active member of his Odyssey [haha, "member" of his Odyssey]. Plus he was into Kalypso and Kirkê. What a dick."

"Ok, Hêlios is just being a little bitch about this. But I guess he’s the fucking sun, so Zeus has to get off his butt and intervene. But even then, Zeus is such a lazy motherfucker that he keeps chilling and just shoots a thunder bolt down at the ship. If Zeus were a teenager, he'd be the guy who hasn't been out of his room in a zillion years."

"Ok, first of all, these guys are too poor to be this generous. And it would be super cool if they were really being this nice to Odysseus, but they’re not. They’re just going to fucking cost-shift all this shit onto their tenants and peasant subjects. Motherfuckers."

"Poseidon’s whining about how Odysseus is already on his way home. Zeus is like, 'man, I’ve got my own shit to deal with. You’re a big boy, pwn some mortals f00.' "

"When Odysseus stunned the hall with his performance with the bow, that was the climax, at which point the story became massively epic. This is the point at which the story continues to be massively epic. “You yellow dogs…Your last hour has come. You die in blood.” This guy is such a boss."

Owlblink.
I am so unbelievably exhausted.

peace