From the Archives

I found this in an old draft that I had never posted. This occurred last summer, some time when we were all wandering around a suburb in the wee hours.

Cole: Can I tell you guys the best joke ever? 

Me: Go ahead.

Cameron: I want to hear!

Cole: Ok, so there are three guys in a helicopter. A Chinese guy, a Japanese guy, and an American guy.

Me: Why?

Cole: What? Uh ... It doesn't matter. So they're flying over China, and the Chinese guy takes an apple out of his pocket, says "I hate my country!" and chucks it out the door.

Me: That's just ridiculous.

Cole: Gordon, it's a joke. So then they're flying over Japan, and -

Gordon: Wait, I thought they were in a helicopter. They crossed China and the Sea of Japan in a helicopter?

Cole: Yeah, they had to fly over Japan on their way to South Korea.

Gordon: That's not even remotely on the way. What part of China did they fly over? And why are they flying together anyway?

Cameron: Gordon, don't worry about it.

Cole: Anyway, the Japanese guy takes an orange out of his pocket, says "I hate my country!" and chucks it out the window.

Gordon: Hold on. If they're traveling on an international flight, the customs officials would have confiscated any food items they had with them. Secondly, why is the pilot allowing the helicopter door to open and close this much? That's a serious safety hazard.

Cole: It's a military helicopter. They were in the army together.

Gordon: A Japanese guy, a Chinese guy, and an American guy were in the military together? Which military is this? That's ridiculous. And why are three guys from what is presumably a western military power flying over eastern Asia?

Cole: They're prisoners. They got out of the army but they're being taken to their trial. Why are you doing this?

Gordon: Look Cole, I just want the characters in my jokes to make plausible choices, ok? Why are you telling me an unrealistic joke? That's the real question.

Cameron: Gordon, shut up. I wanna hear the joke!

Cole: Never mind. Fuck it.

I wonder if I'm funny to anyone but myself.