My Life Is Over.

Annie's has stopped making White Cheddar Instant Mac n' Cheese -- or so the Whole Foods employee told my dad when he inquired.

I say that my life is over not out of pubescent angst, but as an objective assessment of my chances.

At least a third of my meals consist of a double serving of Annie's Microwavable Delicacy, so the discontinuing of my usual sustenance will probably result in my death by starvation.

I have, of course, done absolutely no research on this travesty. I'm just huddling in my cave, waiting to die.

Goodbye.